


into the dark

by chasseuse



Category: The Gifted (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Memory Fic, Memory Tampering, Post Episode 3, slow ish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-26 23:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12568992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasseuse/pseuds/chasseuse
Summary: Do you realise what you've done? What that could lead to? (ThunderBlink, minor DreamerBird.)





	1. memories

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is heavily Sonia’s point of view, but will expand as the fic proceeds. I think. We’ll see. Also it will be shorter than the other chapters because I wanted it to be strictly Sonia’s point of view in this chapter and that meant that it was organically shorter.

_Do you realise what you've done? What that could lead to?_ Sonia replayed the expression on his face in her mind's eye, thinking over the memory. She had meant what she said, that she knew very well what could happen. Where things might go from here. She knew the moment she put that memory into Clarice's head that she'd sealed her fate. Sonia loved Johnny, loved everything about him, from his steadfast calm to his strength when everything was falling apart. She could see how he could be very attractive to someone like Clarice, someone lost in the ocean of her powers and needing something, someone to ground her. That, and he wasn't terrible to look at. Her lips quirked up in the dark at the thought. She knew first hand how not terrible he was to look at.

_What that could lead to?_ The words came again to wipe the smirk off her face and steal her breath. The problem was that it was already happening. From the moment Clarice had come into the warehouse, Sonia could see that something had changed with Johnny. She wasn't on that mission but she knew that he'd made a connection with her. It was in the way their eyes lingered on one another when they thought no one was looking. It was the way that he refused to leave her when her powers were out of control. Sure, she could see the logical reasons why he had to be one to stay, but his hand gripping hers almost unconsciously to anchor her to him said so much more. It was the way that he had started to teach her, how he said she needed something positive to focus on. Sonia saw the way her emerald eyes had softened slightly looking at him, belying the confusion in her voice as she scoffed about having no one and nothing.

Sonia's heart beat faster when she thought of the phone call between her and Johnny and the way that her blood had started to freeze in her veins as he shot down her suggestions. When he asked what she was going to do, she knew he would be angry with her. She knew that it might be the end of them, one more nail in the coffin that Johnny had built for their relationship. He didn't know how much she loved him, how much she was willing to risk to save his life. She'd made her decision the second he'd called her. She knew it was time to let him go and this may not be what he wanted, but it's what would have happened eventually. She just… sped things up a little.

Her eyes had caught sight of Clarice when she hung up and she just had to cycle through which memory she could use. Chicago, Cleveland, New York, Richmond… no, New York. The rainstorm. The beat up old walk up they had in the Bronx. She envisioned that night, when the hydro had gone out and all they had was candles to light the way. How he'd put a blanket over her and they watched the storm by firelight. She knew that would be unintrusive enough to slide into Clarice's memories seamlessly. She transformed herself into Clarice in her memory, thinking of how her eyes softened when she looked at Johnny. She remembered the feel of the blanket, how grounded and safe she felt on the couch with his hand on her thigh. She smelled the musty but familiar scent of rain coming down and heard the sound of it hitting the large window pane. She tasted the leftover chinese they'd ordered before the lights had gone out. The memory wasn't hers anymore, it was Clarice's and she just had to put it in her head.

She remembered talking quickly trying to get Clarice to understand the urgency of the situation, that the man she loved was in danger. It was quickly clear to her that she was going to have to go with Plan B, so taking a breath and feeling the sharp sting of tears pierce her eyes, she breathed out the memory, watching Clarice taking it in. They were so close that the transfer had taken hold very easily and she watched as those eerie emeralds dilated with the processing of new information. Except it was old information, information that she'd forgotten in the recesses of her memory. Sonia watched her blink as the memory set in and her eyes cleared and she knew it was done. She explained to Clarice there wasn't any time and Johnny was in danger. Sonia doesn't think she won't ever forget that little intake of breath that Clarice did as panic about her loved one seeped into her brain. It was not unlike the little intake of breath that Sonia had suffered when she answered the phone and heard the undercurrent of panic in Johnny's voice.

Watching Clarice try to open a portal when there was a small chance she would was one of the most terrifying moments of Sonia's life. It was followed by another moment of terror when she realised she might lose Johnny as a friend as well, watching his back as he stalked off to the warehouse. Her heart had broken a little because Clarice had been the one that was able to throw her arms around him in a life-affirming hug. She longed to do that herself, but it wouldn't fit the narrative that she'd planted in Clarice's head. She'd stood there in the clearing by herself for a few long moments, collecting her being back together again after the day.

After that, she returned to the house and saw that Johnny hadn't yet returned. Clarice had come up to her, asking where he'd gone and she explained that he just needed a minute to think. Sonia watched the girl's face fall a little but she reassured her that it had nothing to do with her. It wasn't exactly a lie. As she put her hands on Clarice's shoulders to comfort her, Johnny walked back in, brow furrowed in thought. Clarice detached from Sonia immediately, bounding up to Johnny cheerfully, asking if everything was alright.

Sonia's breath caught in that moment, unsure if she was ready to see how this would play out after all. But Johnny only gave Clarice a half smile and said that he was fine. He just needed some rest after the day's events. Clarice's face had fallen a little but she masked the hurt by offering him a cup of tea. Sonia had watched as Johnny had kept distance from Clarice for the whole evening and eventually Clarice had gone to bed, dejected and confused about what happened between them to have Johnny so distant from her.

Seeing her opening, Sonia had come to speak to him, to see where they might stand. But she barely got a word out. As she opened her mouth to explain herself, she heard his quiet command of

"Don't." and she knew the friendship might be over for him as well. It wasn't over for her though and she knew the risks when she'd made the decision. She'd left him though, and gone back to her cot near where Marcos was sleeping. He used to be across the room with Lorna, but he'd since moved to a single cot right by Sonia.

She knew that it would just take some time and Johnny would forgive her. He'd see that she'd made the right decision eventually. She just hoped that her actions wouldn't hurt Clarice too much in the interim.


	2. flames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, hope you enjoy the new chapter. I appreciate the kudos that you're giving me. :) If you wanna comment every input helps. Thanks for reading!

John Proudstar had a problem. The problem seemed to follow him everywhere he went even if he was alone. The problem followed him with phantom touches, phantom tastes, phantom smells. The problem was named Sonia. He had tried to put some distance between them when she came back to the warehouse, saying that if they were to work together, they couldn't be together. That didn't mean that part of him still felt as if they were together. In meetings, when their eyes would meet across the table, in training when she'd get that little smirk as they traded blow for blow, at night when she'd brew a second cup of tea, brushing his arm on the way out of the kitchen but never saying it was for him. Note: It was.

But then John encountered another problem. One that had eyes that were as green as the jade stones he'd seen in his grandmother's room, meant to purify and wash clean oneself of evil spirits. In a way, those eyes had purified him when he looked at them for the first time. They glowed and reached into his soul, taking the part of him he had for Sonia and enveloping it, to roost as a small spark waiting to burst to flame. He knew that things had changed again when he got out of the car and seen those eyes again, but within them was a knowledge that he was not yet part of. Those eyes belonged to Clarice Fong. His jaw clenched at the implications of her running to throw her arms around him and the spark that had come to roost flickered a little in response to it. He'd let her go and sent her off to have words with Sonia, the dread growing more and more.

He'd kept Clarice at arm's' length the entire evening and could see that it was hurting her that he was distancing himself from her. He just didn't know what to do yet and he needed time to plan, to adjust. He stopped Sonia's advance on him, stonewalling her so that she couldn't try to explain herself further. He knew that if he gave her the chance to speak, she would make sense or give him a narrative that would make the situation easier to swallow. He needed to have time to form his own thoughts before he allowed her to cloud the barely formed plans in his head.

The two problems warred in front of him as he lay in bed, unable to sleep. Sonia hadn't made him a tea that evening. He could still see the moment when Clarice realised that something wasn't right between the two of them and backed off, the ocean of uncertainty swallowing her once more. He took a deep breath and got up, rolling the tension out of his shoulders. He pulled a t-shirt over his head and silently made his way to kitchen. He brewed a cup of tea and set off outside to mull over the consequences of Sonia's actions.

So much had happened in the last few days that he hadn't had any time to consider the feeling he got when he looked at Clarice for the first time. He thought of the look on Sonia's face when she told him that she had thought about the ramifications. It was the same look she always wore when she knew something he didn't and she was just waiting for him to catch up. He sipped his tea and looked out into the dark, watching the wind rustle the trees beyond. He considered why Sonia might have picked him for Clarice to care about. Marcos had been a good friend to Clarice in the days since she'd arrived, giving advice and approaching with kindness and patience to her. Sonia could have amplified that connection, made her think she and Marcos went further back than she originally knew. But he knew that Sonia wouldn't risk that uncertainty. He thought of the feeling he got when he looked into Clarice's eyes and wondered if Sonia saw the spark she left in him too.

Sonia knew first hand that he liked to bring in the lost ones, provide a steady haven for those lost at sea. Perhaps she thought that his careful monitoring of Clarice more than strictly platonic. His brow furrowed at that thought, wondering if that was the thing she thinks he'd missed. It concerned him that she noticed that he was taking note of Clarice and further thought that she might have drawn the wrong conclusions. After all, he was still trying to get his head together about Sonia and he already said they couldn't get involved if they were working together. Why would Sonia think that might be different if it were Clarice? They would still be working together. All of them would be working together!

He shook his head and growled in frustration at the way his thoughts seemed to be going in circles. Putting his mug down he closed his eyes and leant forward, resting his head on his knees. He breathed in the night air slowly, listening to the life and earth around him. He could hear the wind rustling the grass, the hoot of a nearby owl, and the collective different breaths of the inhabitants behind him. He breathed out and felt the cleansing sense of relief as he expelled all of the frustration he could feel and thought once more of the jade that his grandmother had. He'd always liked that shade of green.

Sighing, he picked up his mug and finished off his tea, turning back to head inside. His shoulders were looser than they were an hour ago and it was time to rest. He would deal with Sonia and… Clarice, in the morning.

xx

He decided it would be best to tackle Sonia first. She was familiar ground and he needed some answers so he could know how to tackle Clarice. He brewed two mugs of tea and took his, going out to sit on the steps outside. Shortly after he heard the door opening and closing and the warm presence of Sonia at his side. He looked at the sun, just barely rising over the treetops, and let the silence sit for a few minutes. Sonia had never been good at the silence but today she seemed to be making an effort. She was afraid he was mad at her, he knew. He was, but it wouldn't last.

"So how long have you thought that Clarice had feelings for me?" He broke the silence with that, carefully keeping himself mostly out of the equation. He heard her intake of breath and he knew that her head was turned to look at him. She was always one for eye contact.

"Since you came back with her," she said haltingly, quietly. She didn't know if she should speak more as he nodded his head slowly. "Look, Johnny, I'm sorry-"

"It's a bit late for that, Sonia." He cut her off, not needing her apologies at the moment. "How far back into her memory did you go?" He needed a timeline so that he could acclimate to the new reality.

"Six months. I had to account for her prison stay and you had to have met her before that. She was there for four months so you'd known each other for two." Sonia said this in a rush, as if saying it quickly would make the words less damning. The impact wasn't lessened at all, she could see it in the way his jaw clenched slightly. The jaw and shoulders, those were always John's tells.

"How did you account for her prison stay? Did you alter that too?" His breath was harsh and his words were low, but he remained unmoving. Instead his eyes focused on a squirrel skittering up a tree and he tracked that, keeping the breath coming.

"I had to adjust some things. You were ripped away from her running from Sentinel Services. You tried to get to her but you got separated. She was unbelievably surprised to see you the other night and didn't know how to feel. The two of you hadn't seen each other in four months but had only known the other for two." She continued in that rushed fashion, turning her head away from his face. Sonia couldn't look at him any more, to measure his responses. After the first one, she knew where she stood and she couldn't bear seeing the disappointment track across his face.

He remained silent for a long time, taking in her fabrications. Something about the last sentence caught his attention. "What made her sure? Why did she pick me as her focus?"

It took her a long time to answer that one. She spoke, but her words were quiet then, as if she didn't want them to escape her body. "Remember New York? The rainstorm and Chinese food?"

He turned to her then, to see her face. His brow furrowed at the sad expression she wore, it was a different kind of sad. A sort of longing for days gone by. "Of course I do." He answered her, just as softly.

"Well you kept that stupid receipt from the cheesey Chinese place and kept it in your wallet for the last five months. You showed it to her after the portal incident. You told her that being separated from her four months ago had been one of the most terrifying moments of your life. You were looking for her all this time and when you'd heard there had been a mutant that broke out of prison…" She still didn't look at him, but her voice got more desperately quiet as the tale went on.

"I went looking for her, to see if I could find the girl I'd met six months ago." He finished the thought. "You kept that receipt? After all this time?" At her nod, he reached for her and she turned to hold him back just as tightly.

"I'm sorry I did this to us, Johnny, I really am." She whispered, breath catching with the weight of her actions following close behind. "You asked her if you two had another chance, if she could give you two a chance. She laughed and said she'd been to prison, it couldn't get much worse than that. Then her eyes softened and your lips quirked up in the small, shy smile of yours. That's when Marcos interrupted you two to get you to the Struckers."

He could feel her shaking, trying to keep the emotions together. He knew what they had was done. She was letting him go, she knew that the memories had a better chance of taking root if there were some base feelings for the heart to hold onto. "You knew that I could grow to have feelings for her." He said, voice still low to keep the words from leaving their little bubble on the porch.

"I saw the potential. I just… Sped things up a little." Sonia hiccuped a laugh and pressed her face into his neck. She breathed him in one last time and pulled away. "I'm going to go get breakfast. Are we, I mean, are we-"

"We're going to be fine," John reassured her and he saw the relief flood her face and bring colour back into her cheeks. "I'm still mad as hell at you, but we're going to be fine." He watched as she choked out a laugh, her eyes sparkling at him as she turned and went back inside. He chose to remain outside for a few moments more. The sun had risen higher, painting the sky in a kaleidoscope of colours. He breathed in the cool morning air and relaxed his shoulders again.

He supposed that he could just go up to Clarice and say that he reconsidered. That based off the last few days and everything that happened with the Struckers, they would be better off if they didn't get attached. He knew she would initially be upset, but she would adjust to the idea and he would be able to teach her to create a new focus. Maybe concentrate on a friendship with Marcos. He rolled his shoulders a little at that, realising that he'd gotten a little more tense thinking about it.

The other side of the coin would be to give them a chance. To go to her and apologise for being a jerk yesterday and that he'd had a lot on his mind the last few days and needed time to process it all. It wouldn't disturb the memories she had of six months ago and he could propose they start fresh, as if the last six months hadn't happened at all. Sonia would have make the memories seamless so she wouldn't suspect anything and he could teach her to stabilise her powers and eventually not use him as a crutch for them. It would be fairer if he proposed they start fresh. He thought they had a good chance, that they could be happy together. He just had to protect her from the memories that weren't hers and everything would be fine.


End file.
